Maybe you’re one of those parents who love to dress up on Halloween and you’ve had your whole crew set up for weeks. You guys bring the show and the energy and make it fun. I’ll enjoy watching your family strut around as the leadership of NXIVM or the members of Witch Taint.
For the rest of us, setting our kids up with something not terrible is a slog. If you’re anything like me you’ve left it to the last minute and now have to scramble. Never fear, out of our collective pandemic bitterness can come a Halloween victory.
Here are 6 DIY Pandemic-themed costume ideas that you can literally put together in seconds.
1.Amazon Box – cut a neckhole in an amazon box and pop it over your child’s head. If you’re really hard up for a second costume, dress a sibling up like a cartoonish robber and have them occasionally steal the “Amazon Box” off of someone’s doorstep.
2. Tragic Screen Eyes – buy your kid a set of those googly eyed glasses and send her out to parade about the neighborhood. She can tell everyone she is Tragic Screen Eyes who has had her eyes, brain and soul destroyed from Distance Learning on an iPad.
3. Soup Bro/Sis – Have your child walk around with a few cans of soup from the stockpile you acquired during the initial pandemic lockdown. How else are you going to get rid of this crap?
4. Super Dependent Boy/Girl – All you need is an “S” taped to their chest and a sign taped to their back that reads “I’ve become super dependent on my parents for everything since I’ve been locked inside.” You’ll need to walk in front of them while Trick or Treating since that’s the only way they’ll do it.
5. Annoying Single Person Desperate for Human Contact – The key to this costume is the needy expression on the face and a few well-crafted catch phrases. I’ve modeled a couple below:
6. Masturbating on Zoom Call Ghost – throw an old sheet over your child’s head and figure out where to cut a couple of eye holes. Then have them walk around while punching the sheet from the inside and asking, “Is my video on? Is my video on?” If anyone ask you what you are tell them you’re the Ghost of Toobin.
Hope this helps. Happy Trick or Treating!
-MG
